Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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