Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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