Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize