Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
