scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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