you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will be naked everywhere
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
