So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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