Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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