im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
