I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
