Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize