I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
