I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i need some magic done to my vagina
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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