the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize