Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
