The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
