arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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