Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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