How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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