its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
