ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sorry about my life...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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