FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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