At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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