Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
