I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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