I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
