Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dick very happy bro
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize