Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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