Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
