Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
