Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk walkin through police station. America
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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