woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
