you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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