This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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