I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
