So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
