before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
