Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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