You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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