i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
