You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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