ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
