hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
