I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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