i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize