Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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