Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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