His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
