ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
