its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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