so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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