he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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