420 ftw
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
