Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
