Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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