It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
me + whiskey = a bad person
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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