I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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