the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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