Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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