Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
