One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
