So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
