So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
being pregnant is like rehab
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I supernannyed him into submission
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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