Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just forgot I was standing up.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
